George Jones Sans Wife and Lawnmower

I haven’t opened the windows in years

this fly must’ve gotten in here from the lobby

snuck in through a crack in the door

or maybe through some hole in the bathroom drywall

or some mistake in the ceiling

when I was busy doing something like showering or taking out the trash

and now that damn dirty fly

maybe a little drunk off the spilled beer on the kitchen floor

is making tight little circles around my head

as I sit here trying to remember what it was I was supposed to be doing today

before I went to the liquor store

where the lady behind the counter knows my name

even though I keep forgetting hers

and bought another twelve pack

in a long line of twelve packs

before I started in on the beer

and realized the date on the bottom of the cans

was two months ago

I haven’t shaved in a week

I spotted a mouse scurrying around by the books on my floor yesterday

at least the bastard’s got good taste in literature

the landlord won’t return my calls

just like most of the women I know

and Patsy Cline songs are making me cry

this cannot be a good sign

as I tilt this bitter cup of loneliness

as I waste away waiting for the relief of swallows

but in the meantime

my guitar keeps not playing itself

and the fly continues to circle

buzzing like a flawed hacksaw tearing apart a xylophone in my head

and I continue on with the beer

staring out the window at the tall tall trees and the gutter and the parked cars

and the skies twinkling unlike any eyes I’ve ever known

and the strange array of pebbles in the mottled squares of sidewalk out there

waiting for something good to happen

like an earthquake or a bomb going off or somebody shooting out the window of a cop car

or just a ten-horsepower rotary engine under a plastic bucket seat

with a key glistening in the ignition

nothing happens

this cannot be a good sign

like the silence of my phone

there is nothing I can do about it

so I hunker down for the rest of the no-good afternoon

finishing off the beer

ragged but right

trying to forget I ever felt anything at all

in the first place

until I don’t see her face

in every place that I go