Thursday, April 30, 2009

Taking The Stairs

A Slinky was hanging around the top of some stairs. The future looked mighty bright to the Slinky, though the nights were still dark nonetheless. Right next to the Slinky there were these two magnets, never mind motifs, and these two magnets didn’t like each other. Who knows why they didn’t? They just didn’t. But they were inexorably attracted to each other too. That’s obvious. They were magnets after all, and everyone knows that magnets can’t help but be attracted to each other, at least on one side. When it comes to sidedness, at least magnets have one side where they can’t help but get along. The other side, well, that’s a different story. These magnets, well, they both tolerated the uncertainty of what was going to occur between them. They had to. There was nothing else to be done. Getting angry about this sidedness issue wouldn’t do any good. Being sad about the whole attraction/repulsion thing would obviously come to nothing. So, they went on hating each other and being inexorably attracted to each other also. One of the magnets tried to get the other magnet to hang around on just one side of it, but that other magnet kept turning itself around so that it was repulsed by that side. Then the first magnet, who was trying to keep the other magnet on its good side, would turn around so that it would be attracted to the side of the other magnet which was now turned towards it. But, without fail, that other magnet would somehow find itself just turned around again and, without any mens rea for its actions, unintentionally fleeing the scene. Chronically dissatisfied with all there was in the world around them, the two magnets decided not to fight against it anymore, and they jumped off together from the railing of the stairs. They weren’t wearing parachutes. It was a long ways down. Let’s just say things didn’t end well that day. The future was dim, the days grew just as dark at the nights, and the Slinky tumbled its way down the stairs.         

 

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Genius Of The Tree's Leaves Baffles The Wind

skylarking isn’t something you just think about doing (while you’re doing it) you would never think of the word frolic to describe your activities either (so here’s the fucking rub) nothing to it because you don’t have to think (not about what you’re doing while you’re doing it) it just is (so if liking is to jelly what hating is to roll then you will not ever know) besides it is always more profound to not have to just say hi or to do the doing without the trying (muddy spikes and spitballs have less to do with each other than they have in common with the weather) jesus makes it plain and simply circles (crimping the style of a crooner reeks of remorse when the commonest thing to excoriate is some hectoring do-gooder god disabusing the good of bad notions) rapt and at attention (facts besides themselves are just that) spiriting away what is left of one into crackerjack boxes and molehills (needles needlessly scratching sun-scorched skin) the whole fucking trinity slammed on the brakes before the god machine slammed into the derangement of the cold hard facts’ brick wall (you wouldn’t say keepsakes in conversation but instead something about tchotchkes or knickknacks or clutter or emptiness taking up space even might come up) o’er yonder ‘neath steely skies the color of changing channels crept unwillingness to hide below loss (push out and on to shove before beneath becomes above) wisteria doesn’t always get a chance to climb (bow out before begin and want will always win) mankind tips the scales at adore (potato chips are left feeling misunderstood) just don’t think about it (okay) while the humming brush of the commuter rush distills loneliness like sun through a skylight (got it) make plans and do without (breathing and getting lumps out of the throat) turn your coat inside out and watch flowers grow and keep a small flask of whiskey in your breast pocket (catch a cold and throw it back) the spilled drops of who you were might make a puddle soon and if god should happen by a shoe might get wet with a step or a splash might forget what is missing (still a screen will save itself from going quite mad) and don’t try on oblivion for size too soon (fight back while you can) if the gate is open walk on by until it locks itself and then try to break in (the kids will make for better astronauts than foot soldiers in your war) copy a cat’s style (the mens rea of praying kills more men than bombs) happen upon a way to do that suits only you (care) but not if you have to (skylarking the whole while)

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Dilemma of Artie Brill

The thing about not getting a fortune cookie at the end of a meal in a Chinese restaurant, if you really don’t want one, that is as far not getting a fortune cookie is concerned, well then, I mean the thing about having to actually ask the server, who may not completely understand you, who may not have English like mastered, let’s just say that the guy wouldn’t list English as his first language, if he had to do so, if he had to make a list, let’s just say English wouldn’t be first on that list, whatever that list would be, so it might be hard, and often times is difficult, to get the waiter, who is not really very used to this kind of a request, he probably doesn’t get these kinds of requests often, regarding the fortune cookie preemptively being un-asked for by a diner, and so will not be expecting this type of request, even if the whole language-barrier thing isn’t insurmountable, if the whole language-barrier is not such a big deal, if it doesn’t even come into play, it still might be difficult to get the point across about not wanting the fortune cookie, to make the festinate waiter, who will most likely be trying to do more than a few things at once, who will most likely be doing his best to not spend more time than he absolutely has to with the diner, to make that harried waiter see, when it comes to the fortune cookie, the thing about the fortune cookie is, is that it is not wanted at all, that there will be no need for a fortune cookie, thank you, no, that will be all, though asking for the check, because the fortune cookie will usually come with the check, is not an answer to this problem, to the problem concerning the not-getting of the fortune cookie, so when it comes to asking for the check you might as well just forget about, concerning asking for the check, better not, just leave it alone when it comes to getting the check, the check will be brought, most likely sooner than it is wanted, so there is nothing you can do about getting the check, and so this here, this getting the check maybe even before the meal is done, it might add a wrinkle to the not-getting-the-fortune-cookie thing, because the diner is like, you know, going to have try to finagle their way into not getting the fortune cookie rather early in the meal, the diner is going to have to be real careful not to wait too long to make the request, as far as not getting the fortune cookie, though asking too early in the meal might also add to the risk of the busy and rushing-around waiter forgetting about the diner not wanting the fortune cookie, that is if the diner has not only asked but also gotten across clearly about the not wanting of the fortune cookie at the end of the meal to the waiter, all I’m saying is that it’s still possible, and pretty damn likely all things considered, that the waiter might happen to forget in all his haste about the diner’s request to not partake in the traditional eating of the fortune cookie after the meal.

 Now, you might be wondering, why would a diner at a Chinese restaurant not want to have a fortune cookie served to them after a meal? Well, there are numerous reason, but the one I’m concerned with here, as I do not have an out-and-out aversion to fortune cookies, as far as liking or not liking the actual taste or texture of the fortune cookie itself, as far as having an affinity or a dislike for fortune cookies is concerned. I am not siding totally with those in the camp of liking fortune cookies, nor am I pitching my tent over on the fortune-cookie-haters side. There just happen to be times when after finishing a meal of almond chicken with fried rice, or a plate of beef and broccoli with chow mien, when I just do not feel like eating a fortune cookie. It is not that I don’t like looking at the fortune inside. In fact, I like looking at the fortune inside, the one written on that tiny slip of white paper, the paper the looks ridiculous in your hand because it is so tiny. When it comes to looking at the actual fortune written on the tiny slip of white paper, well, that is something that you might even say I like too much. Looking at the fortune can be a compulsion with me. I don’t like to give in to this compulsion. It is something I try not to do. I don’t need any encouragement when it comes to believing in omens. When it comes to predicting my own future, well, let’s just say I don’t want to know too much about it. Sometimes when I get a fortune cookie, even though I have tried to ask to not have one given to me, and have failed, as often happens to happen with me, I will put said fortune cookie in my jacket pocket, so as not to seem rude or ungrateful for this small token of appreciation. It is when I forget that the cookie is there in my pocket that it becomes something that could be considered not so good of a thing to have happened to me. Having cookie crumbs in my pocket does not make me happy. You could say that I am very displeased with having cookie crumbs in my jacket pocket. If I put the fortune cookie in my pocket, having restrained myself from breaking it open to read the fortune written on the tiny slip of white paper inside, I usually will forget that it is there because really there is nothing else I can do with it, besides throw it away, or break it open to read the fortune, which I do not want to do, which I am at the time probably very proud of myself for not having done yet, but I do not want the fortune cookie to go to waste, and if it is an unwrapped fortune cookie, as many fortune cookies are unwrapped in Chinese restaurants, though you still get some that come wrapped in plastic, but if it is an unwrapped one then it is a hard item to give away. Try giving away an unwrapped fortune cookie to a stranger. It will not be an easy task, let me tell you. Nobody will want it. Just your attempt to give it away will be awkward and probably scoffed at. So, I often end up with fortune cookie crumbs in my jacket pocket after eating at a Chinese restaurant, and you could never say of me, hey, there’s a guy who goes fortune cookie hunting. That is not something that would be accurately applied to me, the going of fortune cookie hunting. That is not something that I would do.







Ontological Boilerplate

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

So the newspaper says,
“The aluminum spandrels with their accordion-like zigzags were dulled by car exhaust.”
just around the corner begin was engineering a coup d'├ętat to overthrow the end
but the pigeons weren’t taking sides just yet
like a strand of alfalfa in the hair
or a chipped-off piece of rebar rust lying in the gutter
some things make for shitty bedfellows

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

take a survey and tell them where to put the new bathrooms in the park
take your time
bite your lower lip while scratching your head
get a dollar and a dream and be ready to flee at any moment
there are not pockmarks in the rubble

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

fistulas and runnels and rivulets and fault lines and mohair suits
uncle Charlie spits at switch hitters
carry yourself away
but don’t get too caught up in the tide of things
become a cliffhanger instead

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

a gadabout slowly circling the fire of consumerism aglow with the flames of hope
giddy bellhops and overrated ticket-takers
and the swell stink of sinking hearts
staying put to get away

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

on a par with smoking a whole pack of Parliament Lights before supper
a cumbersome coat of nervousness lined with anxiety
placating the grogginess of being with bored yawns
upsetting the institutions of motion with the confetti of ideas
about or just about like eating after-dinner mints for breakfast
the final greatness of being wishful

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

pinched fabric in the nerves of needles
that time of day when the sun starts melting and flowers start folding up shop
one-hitters
safety nets
and the brake lights flash

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

the subtleties of breakdancing on blond-brick parkways
inquisitions of stop-and-go traffic
plagiarized vulgarity being shouted from rooftops of insurrection
a game of keepaway

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

before the commercials started there was a point when the heightening of the dramatic tension became almost unbearable if not unendurable and we held hands then at this point because it wasn’t too good to be alone just then or it at least didn’t seem like it but then a commercial came on and we released hands forever losing something which we never knew we had had in the first place

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

the light from the light bulb creeps
there is usually nothing unusual about wrapping presents in wrapping paper
seesaws work best with others
when it is not true that one might pay dearly for cheap labor
then the horses can all go out to pasture
as far as the horses are concerned
leave a trail behind so you will know why you’ve been apprehended

I am nothing
I am no one
I do not matter

listen
chances are that you are missing something
be dire and be insecure if you must
cup a hand behind an ear
reinvent yourself with irrelevance
but most importantly
listen

I am nothing

take my word for it

I am no one

don't behave yourself

I do not matter

be constantly aware that you are alive